The Last Nuclear Fallout Sign

New York City Mayor Bill De Blasio seeks to capitalize on rekindled fears of nuclear annihilation sweeping across Manhattan and wealthy enclaves throughout the boroughs. The spat between Great Leader Kim Jong-un and President Donald Trump has unsettled an emerging power elite in NYC -- recently arrived, left of center, young, urban Democrats -- Millennials employed in the tech industry who rather despise the President but hold no grudge against the Little Fatty, so long as his missile fly-overs are limited to Japan and deplorable American Red States. De Blasio, always on the hunt for fodder to detract from Trump and the Republicans, misdirects attention from his poor performance in office like a political magician. The too tall political prestidigitator removes nagging issues from his governance before your eyes, then, POOF! Behold vacant storefronts, expansive homelessness and crumbling infrastructure, still there, only receding from his agenda, replaced by a mandate from the trembling new constituency in the city.

“Those signs are misleading!”

What really disturbs comfortable existence in bubble New York? Looking up from their apps the new-tech-toughs in Fone-City don't notice deeply troubling fails of society, economy and government. They fixate on historic fallout shelter signs posted during the Cold War, 1961. I'd bet 311 is inundated by calls from geeks complaining their nearby fallout shelter isn't stocked-up with fresh crackers, water and plastic pails for taking a dump. A spike in therapy and Xanax prescriptions ensue. Big pharma and big data really ARE in bed together! Viral reports say the signs will be removed. Hallelujah!

All the far flung press on the subject seems to have been written by the same Buzzfeed college intern, characterizing New York City's fallout shelter signs as "misleading." To whom? Seventeen year olds from out of town attending NYU? Millennials working at Google? Did they expect to take an Uber or Lyft to that pre-war brick building on the corner for solace and refuge?

What's a public servant with the stature of Bill De Blasio to do? Retro-chic anxiety demands attention-getting action. Good for PR! Get a Millennial to write it. Remove the "misleading" signs and let the endorphins flow!

As I write, the wife of Mayor De Blasio's personal advisor and public relations "guru," Jonathan Rosen -- the guy behind the curtain and I surmise responsible for hatching the "misleading" fallout shelter sign removal policy and all the "misleading" press about it -- has been promoted to Chief of Staff to the First Deputy Mayor. Debbie Rosen gets a big raise along with the new title. Congratulations. De Blasio dismissed conflict of interest concerns.